Older than I’ve ever been

And now I’m even older…

My birthday was on Friday, and they just keep coming quicker.

One day I’ll wake up and be 50, then another I’ll wake up and be dead.

Just like your birthday, you have a death-day that you pass each year. A future anniversary of your demise. Which day could it be? Any of them.

What if we knew the day, but not what year we would die? If you knew you’d die on January 1st, for example, how would you behave differently on that day? Would you? There would be nothing you could do to prevent it, no matter how safe you were, how careful…

Maybe we’d be more appreciative of those we love and the things we have, on that day each year. Maybe we’d spend it telling our family we love them, in case we don’t get another chance. And the following morning, when we were still alive, we’d be grateful for life and take it for granted a little bit less.

Of course… there would be the problem of everyone being immortal for the other 364 days of their year……

Trading instincts for intelligence

I thought the other day about how animals know what to eat and how to find it, seemingly from birth. Do animals accidentally eat poisonous or harmful things? It doesn’t seem like it. But we humans, we don’t know how to eat, how to catch food, how to prepare it, until we’re taught. We don’t know how to do most things until taught. I wonder, if we’d even figure out how to have sex without being told…

Is that the cost of high intelligence? Perhaps there is no more room in our head for all that instinctual knowledge that other creatures seem to have. Or, maybe once we got intelligent enough to learn it all, the selective pressure to keep the instincts was removed, and they were bred out of us over the eons.

I wonder if the reverse could ever happen, and we could lose our intelligence in favor of instinct…

Endless stories

There are so many books out there I’ll never read. So many characters I’ll never know, places I’ll never imagine, idea’s I’ll never entertain. Imagining this infinite landscape of fiction gives me a sense of exploration and openness–anything-is-possible-ness–that I used to get from playing open world video games. The slight sadness that I’ll never get to enjoy all these books is overtaken by the excitement of knowing that I’ll never run out.

Open something new! Take a step into the unknown…


Time travel

The only way time travel could work is if the traveler had been completely removed from existence, and was only an observer looking in. Peering through a window, fast forwarding and rewinding time at will but forever separate from causality.

If you could go everywhere, see everything–but interact with nothing… would it be worth it to satisfy your curiosity? Could you give up all effect on the world in order to know all its secrets?

Maybe the subject of my next story/novel/cluster of words…

The waterless flood

I liked Oryx and Crake so much I got the sequel, The Year of the Flood–although I’ve heard several people say it can stand alone and doesn’t need any knowledge of Oryx and Crake in order to read it.

So far this is true. The story follows several characters who are a part of the God’s Gardeners cult as they prepare for the prophesied ‘waterless flood’ that will wipe out humanity. It happens parallel to the events in Oryx and Crake, but from this different viewpoint.

I found myself several times wondering what it would be like to join a cult like this–one that segregated itself from society. Life would be simpler, that’s for sure. It seems appealing in some ways, to be cut off from all the requirements of technology and the demands of employment. To just step out of the race to get more more more.

But what affect can you really have on a society that you aren’t an active part of? How can you bring change to something you’ve left behind?

The characters in the book aren’t trying to change anything, of course, they believe it is beyond saving and are just preparing for it all to collapse.

Our society, though, can be saved. So we should do our best to save it from within–despite the allure of running away to start fresh, unfettered by all the garbage and evil that’s grown up around us.


Pick something and stick to it

Easier said than done…

This is a blog post aimed at myself. I’m talking to myself, wow, am I okay?

Edit! Or rewrite! Or write a short story! Or start a new novel! Not all of these at once!

Trying to do too many things leads to nothing being done. This has been a constant problem for me in all things, it seems.

Part of why I never went to college is because I never could decide what I wanted to study. I never learned a second language because I could never pick which one would be best. I never finished a novel (until recently) because other ideas always became better and more appealing.

Focus! How do you elude me so!

Once I get started though, I can convince myself to continue. As I have on this crazy daily blogging thing even though half the posts are ad hoc pulled out of the air crap.

Time to pick something and take action!

What to write…

Too many things to choose from means I can’t pick one, and thus I do nothing!

I’ve got to make a decision and get out of this slump, except every time I make one, I change my mind a few days later…

How will this end…